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Always Turn On Your Emergency Flashers

A blonde’s car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the Road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The life like cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.
It wasn’t very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What is going on here?”
“My car broke down, Officer” says the woman calmly.
“Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the damn road?!” asks the Officer.
“Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!” she replied.

Hey Lady Nice T-Shirt

A Blonde goes over to her friend’s house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt.

“Why are you wearing a Thank God it’s Friday Tee-shirt on Monday?”

“Oh crap!” the blonde says, “I thought it meant Tits Go In Front.”