A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.

After several minutes, the older worker had enough.

‘Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,’ he said. ‘I’ll bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.’

‘You’re on, old man,’ the braggart replied. ‘Let’s see you do it.’

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, ‘All right, Dumbass …….. get in.’

Never mess with an old man!

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A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire her self out as a “Handy woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said. “How much will you charge me?”

The blonde quickly responded, “How about $50?”

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?”

He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?” The wife replied, “Is it?”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” the husband asked. “Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.”

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “It’s not a Porch …. it’s a Lexus.”