One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Colorado were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through.”
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through.”
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow and just then the electricity went off. The wife had a worried look on her face when she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?”
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied…
“Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, ‘Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’ He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So my wife called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired. It’s important at our age .
Always Turn On Your Emergency Flashers
A blonde’s car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the Road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The life like cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.
It wasn’t very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What is going on here?”
“My car broke down, Officer” says the woman calmly.
“Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the damn road?!” asks the Officer.
“Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!” she replied.
Hey Lady Nice T-Shirt
A Blonde goes over to her friend’s house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt.
“Why are you wearing a Thank God it’s Friday Tee-shirt on Monday?”
“Oh crap!” the blonde says, “I thought it meant Tits Go In Front.”
Tags: 
