I really needed a day off work, but I knew the boss wouldn’t allow me to take leave. I thought that if I acted like I was ‘crazy’ he would tell me to take a few days off, so I hung upside-down from the ceiling, and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who is blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the boss might think I was ‘crazy’ and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What in the name of God are you doing?” I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, “Clearly you are stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.” I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the boss asked her, “…And where do you think you’re going?”

She said, “I’m going home too. I can’t work in the dark..”

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password;

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password - Okay, here’s her answer…

She said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says “Darn, I can’t get in the car!” The other blond replies, “keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down”.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it…

What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A blonde at a flashing red light.

A business man got on an elevator.

The man answered, ”S-H-I-T’ means ‘Sorry, Honey, it’s Thursday’

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.”

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window.. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says “Hi, my name is
Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.

He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says….
“Hi, my name is Mark, it’s winter in New Hampshire and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Colorado were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through.”
So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through.”
The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow and just then the electricity went off. The wife had a worried look on her face when she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied…
“Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”