A Professor was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscular Contractions” to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”

She replied, “Probably golfing with his buddies.”

The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, ‘Bartender, got any specials today?’

Bartender answers, ‘Yes, as a matter of Fact we have a new drink, invented by A gynecologist patron of ours.

It’s a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka.’

The guy asks, ‘Good grief, what do you call that?’

The bartender replied, ‘It’s a ‘Pabst Smir.’

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A guy goes to the Civil Service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, ‘Have you been in the service?’

‘Yes,’ he says. ‘I was in the armed forces for three years.’

The interviewer says, ‘That will give you extra points toward employment’ and then asks, ‘Are you disabled in any way?’

The guy says, ‘Yes, 100%. A mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off.’

The interviewer tells the guy, ‘OK, I can hire you right now The hours are from 8:00 a.m. till 5:00 p.m.. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 a.m.’

The guy is puzzled and says, ‘If the hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 a.m.?’

‘This is a government job’, the interviewer says. ‘For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.’

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A little girl asked her father: ‘How did the human race appear?’
The father answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.’

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, ‘Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.’

The confused girl returned to her father and said, ‘Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mum said they developed from monkeys.’

The father answered, ‘Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.’

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