An older couple is lying in bed one morning. They had just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, ‘Don’t touch me.’
‘Why not?’ he asked.
She answered, ‘Because I’m dead.’
The husband asked…’What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!’
She said, ‘No, I’m definitely dead.’
He insisted, ‘You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?’
‘Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.’
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Well we got snow today so I guess winter is official here. So here are some corny snow jokes.
What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What’s an ig?
An eskimo’s home without a loo!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!
How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce ?
A snowball !
How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !
What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !
How do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !
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Girlfriends sets her boyfriend up to be pranked on a radio show. Then insult each other through the whole call.
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She works hard for her money…
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A little girl asked her father: ‘How did the human race appear?’
The father answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.’
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, ‘Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.’
The confused girl returned to her father and said, ‘Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?’
The father answered, ‘Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.’
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