The hillbilly family

 

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, “What’s this, Paw?”

The father responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is!”

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, “Go get your maw!”

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Tired Nurse

 

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse And tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, She looks at the flabbergasted teller And without missing a beat, she says:

‘Well, that’s great….that’s just great…

Some asshole’s got my pen!’

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Happy Canada Day

 

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A recent study found the average Canadian walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found Canadians drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.


That means, on average, Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.


Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be Canadian, EH ??!!

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Truck Stop Restroom

 

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom, I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom. 
   
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
‘Hi, how are you?’

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
‘Doin’ just fine!’

And the other person says:
‘So what are you up to?’

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
‘Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!’
?

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
‘Can I come over?’

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him,
‘No..I’m a little busy right now!!!’


Then I hear the Guy say nervously…


‘Listen, I’ll have to call you back.? There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions?


Cell phones, don’t you just love them?

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Don’t Give The Airlines any ideas.

 

I can see them doing this in the future. :(

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