One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, ‘Good morning Alex.’

‘Good morning Pastor,’ he replied, still focused on the plaque. ‘Pastor, what is this? ‘ The pastor said, ‘Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.’ Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, ‘Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:30?’

A social worker from the city of Ottawa recently transferred to the Valley in White Water Region. As she was on the first tour of her new rural area she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. ‘Anybody home?’ she asked.

‘Yep,’ came a kid’s voice through the door.

‘Is your father there?’ asked the social worker.

‘Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,’ said the kid.

‘Well, is your mother there?’ persisted the social worker.

‘Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,’ said the kid.

‘But,’ protested the social worker, ‘are you never together as a family?’

‘Sure, but not here,’ said the kid through the door. ‘This is the Outhouse!’

An old man went to the mall to do some shopping, when he decided to grab a bite to eat at the food court. Sitting next to him was a teenager with spiked hair in all different colours: green, blue, red and orange.

With no expression on his face, he continued to stare in amazement at the colourful teenager who was beginning to resent the old man glare.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, ‘What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?’

Without batting an eye, the old man responded: ‘Got stoned once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.’

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.’
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’

The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar.

‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says ; ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question?

Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’

The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!’

 Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. ‘Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt.

Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane…’

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, ‘Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.’

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story.

Johnny started his story, ‘I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.’

Mummy fainted!