At St. Mary’s Catholic Church they have a weekly husbands marriage seminar. At the session last week the priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, ‘Wella, I’ve a-tried to treat-a her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is, I tooka her to Roma for the 25th anniversary!’

The priest responded, ‘Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!
Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?’

Giuseppe proudly replied, ‘I’m agonna go get her.’

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

“You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301 .

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.

Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3.

When you get out, I’mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell.”

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

“What . . . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?”