A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, ‘Doc, I’m in one hell of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.

We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already. I don’t have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!’

The dentist thought to himself, ‘My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.’

So the dentist asks him, ‘Which tooth is it sir?

The man turned to his wife and said,
‘Open your mouth, Honey, and show him.’

It was a sunny morning, a little before 8:00 am, on the first hole of a very nice course. I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the club house loud speaker, ‘Would the gentleman on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!’

I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption

Again the announcement, ‘Would the man on the woman’s tee kindly back up to the men’s tee.’

I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled, ‘Would the man on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee PLEASE!’

I finally stopped, turned, cupped my hands and shouted back …..

‘Would the asshole with the microphone please be quiet and let me play my second shot.’

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. “Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt,” the golfer mumbles to himself.

Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, “Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?”

Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, “Sure” and sinks the putt.

Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, “Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one.” The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, “Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?”

Shrugging, the golfer replies, “Okay.” And he makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs another  eagle to win.

Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, “Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?”

“Definitely,” the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.

As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, “I haven’t really been fair with you because you don’t know who I am. I’m the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life.”

“Nice to meet you,” the golfer replies, “I’m Father O’ Malley.”