Why Does Sex Stop After Getting Married?
Filed Under (Random Fish) by Fish on 14-12-2007
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “See. He mated 50 times last year? … once-a-week.”
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 120 times last year.” The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.” The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband’s ribs, said, that’s once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”
The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.”
NOTE: The husband’s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more operations he will be ok.
Sound Advice From Dad
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she may be pregnant.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, ‘Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!’
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:
‘Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation but I’ll take responsibility. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life .
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?’
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him,
‘You try again.’
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