So I’m going to make fun of him.
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We’ve got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.” Her husband replies, “Well, lots of dogs can do that.” The wife responded, “But we’ve never subscribed to any!”
A little girl asks her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom says, “The dog is in heat, go ask daddy.”
The little girl goes to her father,
“Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? Mom said the dog is in heat and that I should ask you.”
“Hm.” He answers, takes a rag, soaks it with gasoline, and scrubs the dog’s butt with it.
“OK, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash.”
Little girl goes and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Dad asks, “Where is Susie?”
Little girl says, “Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block. But another dog is pushing her home.”
How to tell if your dog has a problem
Ask yourself the following questions.
1. Does your dog know the spelling, Latin root and French translation of the word “walk,” yet is unable to grasp the meaning of the word “come”?
2. Does your dog immediately leap on a cat, bunny rabbit, or child upon hearing the words “Don’t worry he LOVES cats, bunny rabbits and children”?
3. Is your dog shameless, graceless, without dignity and extremely in touch with his inner puppy?
4. Does he wake you up in the middle of the night to warn you of the dangers of a kitchen chair, then sleep through the theft of all your valuable possessions?
5. Does he develop a tragic and profound deafness at the sound of “It’s time to go home,” yet possess bionic hearing at the sound of a can opener?
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