I’m not religous but this is interesting…
Filed Under (Wittyisms) by Fish on 17-10-2006
Lest I am accused of being unnecessarily harsh on Islam, here is a dig at another set of fundamentalist beliefs. Written in response to a US radio personality saying Leviticus describes homosexuality as an abomination, following was posted as an open letter on the internet.
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Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learnt a great deal from your show, and so will try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him or her that Leviticus 18:22 clearly state it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16).
Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
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Now for some funny stuff
Fedex Video
The Joys of Tequila or Alcohol for that matter.
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October 25th, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Dear mocking fan who is trying to show that some of the laws in the bible are ludicrous, and thus the law regarding homosexuality being an abomination is also possibly absurd. Please note that all your questions come from the old testament and these laws were addressed to the Hebrews JUST after they where delivered from the idolatry of Egypt. They were a people who had been slaves their whole lives and that is all they knew.
As for the answers:
a) Bulls were burnt year after year to cover the peoples’ sins. Jesus Christ the perfect / ultimate sacrifice died for all our sins. You are no longer required to burn bulls on an altar. Besides, that was the priests’ job, not the job of a common “homo†such as yourself.
b) In those times there was no .Co or .LTD or PTY. Employee-employer relationships as we know them did not exist. If you wanted a job you had to be a bonds man/maid. God was merely trying to protect women’s rights, “he shall deal with her according to the custom of daughters.†If you bothered to finish reading the section you would have realised this.
c) In those days there was no sanitary protection for the women. Thus, wherever women lay or sat during menstruation, they left blood – an excellent carrier and breeding ground for bacteria and disease. God was only trying to protect the people.
d) The Hebrews were God’s chosen people and he did not want them buying their brothers into slavery. They were already His. He would rather they bought people from the neighbouring ungodly nations so that they may have the opportunity to learn about the one true God and be saved. This must be looked at in the context where in that time a culture of slavery permeated the world and God was providing laws for their culture (which they had created). Those people were not ready for the teaching of Jesus who came to fulfil the whole law and who taught “turn the other cheekâ€, or if someone wants your shirt, you give them your cloak too.
e) Once we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and saviour, we have come into God’s rest and everyday is a Sabbath to us. Sabbath meaning a day set aside for God. Now all of our days are set-aside for God even when we are at work. Note in that day if a Jew disobeyed the Sabbath; it was out of direct rebellion and not ignorance to the law. God didn’t want His people to forget all that He had done for them and fall away to the “the pride of life†or the “lust of fleshâ€.
f) It is well known fish without scales or fins can often be poisonous. Shellfish eat the waste off the bottom of the ocean- if you eat them you can get food poisoning. In this modern age people monitor the red tide and are more knowledgeable about the whole matter. Once again, God was merely trying to protect His people, as He being the manufacturer, knows how His product can function best.
g) Having no defect in one’s sight is a metaphor- the sacrifice and the priest had to be without blemishes, showing that Jesus will be perfect, without any blemishes or any sin. Once again no more sacrifices are needed, as the debt has been paid in full.
h) This question is akin to saying because the army requires your hair to be cut a certain way, you think someone you saw on the street with a different haircut should be put to death.
Firstly, there is no mention of anyone being killed for this. Secondly, it was a way of tribe members having a uniform appearance. Once more this law was only given to “ “the children of Israelâ€- the Hebrews. It was also given so that they did not mar themselves with heathen ways.
i) Pigs are notoriously unclean animals, often with tapeworms, and so God was protecting His people (I’m noticing a pattern here??). In those days they did not have the methods, medications and knowledge that we have today, e.g. worm tablets. Besides, most footballs today are made from synthetic fibres.
j) Again you fail. There was no mention of someone receiving the punishment of death for this. God’s farming method, as practised by farmers today, is to sow one crop in one field, as it grows better and is easier to harvest. It says “mingled seed†– i.e. everything mixed together, which would make a farmers life rather unpleasant. With regards to different thread, it expressively says only not a “mixture of linen and woolâ€. This specific blend creates negative ions, which are unhealthy for ones body, and interferes with the nerves that carry electrical impulses to the spine. This results in a lower immune system and can even lead to depression. God’s laws or commands can often seem like foolishness to the ignorant, such as yourself.
Remember those were God’s chosen people He called out of Egypt, He did not want them to be blaspheming His holy name. The scribes who used to copy the bible would wash their hands before they even wrote His name, and they wouldn’t dare say the word “Yawehâ€. Again this wouldn’t be out of ignorance, it would be out of direct defiance to God’s law for them. Blasphemy, breaking the third commandment is still wrong, and everyone on the great and fearful day of judgement will not only have to give an account of their actions, but even every idle word spoken. Good luck to your uncle with that.
The bible says if a man marries a wife and her mother (in those days sex was the consummation of marriage), then they should be burned – this is incestuous behaviour (the daughter becomes his daughter, whom he also is sleeping with). God wanted His chosen people to be Holy.
To put it all in context:
All these laws were in place before Jesus Christ came and died for our sins. There was no deliverance, and the corrupt/demonised would just become more corrupt, as well as causing others to be so too. Hence the only way to rid the camp of really wicked, rebellious people, who had witnessed Gods power first hand, knew his commandments, knew the penalty for certain actions would be death, but yet they still chose to rebel, was to kill them (if you have a high penalty to stop people from doing what is wrong, and you don’t enforce it, what is going stop future people from committing the wicked acts too?). God was trying to establish a pure, holy line of people from which Jesus would come.
Since you are so knowledgeable about such matters, and have obviously studied the bible in great depth I have some questions for you too. Please tolerate my ignorance:
1) The bible has over 300 prophecies detailing the coming of Jesus, and every single one of them was fulfilled. I don’t have space for all of that prophesying, but here’s a few points that the old testament tells us about Jesus:
to be born of a virgin
born in Bethlehem
will be a descendant of Abraham, Isaac, Jesse, David
rejected by His own people, the Jews
blind, deaf, and lame are healed by the Messiah.
adored by infants
Messiah will be meek and mild
betrayed for thirty pieces of silver
betrayal money used to buy Potter’s field
crucified with malefactors
pierced through hands and feet
soldiers gambled for His clothing
no bones broken
His side pierced
darkness over the Land
to be resurrected
sent the Holy Spirit
establishes a new covenant
I have included a few verses for you own displeasure, if you want references for the above, I will gladly supply them, alternatively you could google it, which I presume you would as you have displayed a clear enthusiasm for seeking out the truth.
Psalms 22:16 For dogs have surrounded me; A band of evildoers has encompassed me; They pierced my hands and my feet.
Psalms 22:17 I count all my bones; [the evildoers] gaze at me.
Psalms 22:18 They part my clothing among them and cast lots for my raiment.
Amos 8:9″And it will come about in that day,” declares the Lord God, “That I shall make the sun go down at noon And make the earth dark in broad daylight.
Joel 2:28″And it will come about after this That I will pour out My Spirit on all mankind; And your sons and daughters will prophesy, Your old men will dream dreams, Your young men will see visions.
Zechariah 11:12 And I said to them, “If it is good in your sight, give me my wages; but if not, never mind!” So they weighed out thirty shekels of silver as my wages.
Zechariah 11:13 Then the LORD said to me, “Throw it to the potter, that magnificent price at which I was valued by them.” So I took the thirty shekels of silver and threw them to the potter in the house of the LORD.
….The problem is, there are over 600 prophecies about the second coming, the day of judgement, and Hell. Should I chance it?
2) I think I’m a good person. Unfortunately by God’s law, I would be called a worker of inequity and be cast into hell, how offensive. The bible says all liars will have their part in the lake of fire. How many white lies/half truths can I tell before I am labelled a liar? I red Mark5:28 and Jesus says whosoever looks upon a women to lust is an adulterer at heart, that sounds kinda harsh? If I have stolen, or taken something small that didn’t belong to me, surely I won’t be labelled as a thief? I have coveted my neighbours goods, haven’t put God first, I’m guilty of idolatry by creating a God with my mind to suit my needs/standards. Judging by the 10 commandments I fail at life, and the bible says the wages of sin is death. I don’t want to go to hell, the weeping and gnashing of teeth, and the smoke of their torment rising forever sounds like a place to avoid. I am clearly guilty by this law, what can I do? Whose gonna take my punishment for me????