A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, “Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?”

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted.

Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, “Do you have anything for this?”

The lady looked closely at her and replied, “Have you tried Clearasil?”

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Recently I was having some repair work done at the car dealer.

A blonde woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

They all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?”

She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there.”

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, “Is there a 710 on this car?”

She pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there.”

Click here to find out what a 710 is.

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Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.

Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming.

The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.”

She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing. “That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself.

Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.

The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises.

“Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.”

“You’re absolutely right sweetheart,” the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.

“Now why were you laughing?” she asked.

“You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered.

“True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.

“Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter. “Why was it so quiet in your room last night?”

“Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”

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Good luck James and Renee and have FUN!!!!

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A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon hovering about 30 feet above a field.”

“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

“I do”, replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well, everything you told me is technically correct, but is of no use to me.”

The man below says, “you must work in sales.”

“I do”, replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well, you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were in before we met, but now, it’s my fault.”

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A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself.

“Sorry, he doesn’t live here anymore, we’re divorced!”

Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results.

He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. “Look, Bozo! We’re divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your fat head?”

“Oh, I know! I just can’t hear it enough!”

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