It was a long day today but here is something to lighten it up.

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13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect

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Indian Style

An Indian from Golden Lake found himself in Vancouver and decided to approach a prostitute on East Hastings.
He asked her,”How much do you charge for the hour?”
“$100,”she replied.
“Do you do Indian-style?” he asked
Not knowing exactly what this was, she refused.
He tried to sweeten the deal and said, “I’ll pay you $300 to do it Indian-style”.
Again she declined.
Being the persistent type, he laid down a final offer, “I’ll give you $500 to go Indian-style with me! What do you say?”
Finally, she agrees–thinking, “Well I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now. I’ve been there and done that, and had every kind of request from weirdo’s from all over the world. How kinky could Indian-style be?
After an hour of every possible way and position, she turned to him and said. “That was fantastic, but I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the ‘Indian-style’ come in?

The Indian opened a can of beer and replied: “I’ll pay you next Wednesday when I get my cheque”.

Its a redneck world!!

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Government Job Interview
A guy goes to the Government for a job interview. The interviewer asks him, “Are you a veteran?” The guy says, “Why yes, in fact, I served a tour in Vietnam.

“Good,” says the interviewer, “That counts in favor. Do you have service-related disabilities?”

The guy says, “In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion blew off both my testicles, so they declared me disabled. It doesn’t affect my ability to work, though.”

“Sorry to hear about your injury, but I have some good news for you, I can hire you right away! Our working hours are 8 to 4 Come on in about 10, and we can put you right to work.

The guy says, “Well if working hours are 8 to 4 why do want me to come in at 10?”

“Well, here at the government, we just sit around and scratch our nuts for the first two hours. No point of you coming in for that.”

Yard Work Sign Language

A couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. Her husband is looking for a rake and can”t find it. He yells up to his wife, but she motions to him from the window like she can”t hear. So he points to his eye, hits his knee, and then makes raking motions. (”I need the rake.”) She replies by pointing to her eye , grabbing her left breast, slaps her ass, then rubs her crotch. The man is confused and runs upstairs.
“What? What was that?”

“Eye, left tit, behind, the bush.”

Women has no sense of humor

My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we are in bed.
I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No.” She answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
“Yes.” She replied.
Then I said, ” I’d like to phone a friend.”

That’s the last thing I remember.

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Some good commercials

Hope you enjoy I found these funny!

Bud 3
Bud 2
Bud 1
Best Beer Commercial ever!

So thats how they do that?!?!?
OMG is this true???

Thats all for now I gotta run to a dairy farm

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