Try not too piss this cat off eh!!!
Two Statues
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.”
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
The angel tells them, “Um, you have fifteen minutes left, “Would you care to do it again?”
He asks her. “Shall we?”
She eagerly replies, “Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head.”
AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING
Mint Flavored Birth Control Pill
The Cadbury’s Candy Co. and Merck Drug Co.
Have combined to market the new Mint flavored
birth control pill that women may take immediately
before sex.
The Pill will be distributed by the large major
drug store chains and Wal-Mart’s Pharmacies.
They’re going to be called….
“Pre-dick-a-mints.” 
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