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Well it was a crazy week at work, lots of fun. Boy am I glad I know how to blow off some steam. Watch what I do when things suck. Gas prices are once again get way out of hand. But what can you do eh, if you have to drive then you have to drive no matter what.

This explains it all.

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Try not too piss this cat off eh!!!

Two Statues

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.”

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, “Um, you have fifteen minutes left, “Would you care to do it again?”

He asks her. “Shall we?”

She eagerly replies, “Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head.”

AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

Mint Flavored Birth Control Pill

The Cadbury’s Candy Co. and Merck Drug Co.
Have combined to market the new Mint flavored
birth control pill that women may take immediately
before sex.

The Pill will be distributed by the large major
drug store chains and Wal-Mart’s Pharmacies.

They’re going to be called….

“Pre-dick-a-mints.”

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I never knew anyone that would use one of these but now I know why the ladies like them so much.

Download File Here

And you thought your parents were strange. Well these two pretty much take the cake and then some.

Download File Here

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BEER vs. PUSSY: THE PLAYOFF

1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. - One point to BEER
2. Warm beer tastes awful. - One point to Pussy
3. A really cold beer is satisfying. - One point to BEER
4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. - One point to Pussy
5. Ten beers in one night and you can’t drive home. Ten Pussies in one night and you don’t want to drive anywhere. - One point to Pussy
6. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. - One point to Pussy
7. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer. - One point to Pussy
8. You normally don’t find old beer. - One point to BEER
9. Too much beer and you’ll think you see flying saucers. Too much Pussy and you’ll think you’ve seen God. - One point to PUSSY
10. In most countries there’s a tax on beer. - One point to PUSSY
11. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off - One point to BEER
12. You can always be sure if you’re the first one to open a bottle or can. - One point to BEER
13. If you shake beer it’ll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down. - One point to BEER
14. You always know how much beer is going to cost - One point to BEER
15. Beer doesn’t have a mother - One point to BEER
16. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you’ve drank it - One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER 9
PUSSY 7

That’s it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them. -An extra point for BEER

One more point for beer!!

We sell caulk by the foot!!

Good old windows

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